Wow - My Family History - plus some...

[~Z~]

I didn't know where to put this, and I'll try to make this short. And if you want the long version, check out my MySpace and view my blog. It is titled "I have found some family - sort of."

Over the past two days, I have been trying to find out where my family roots go. I found a website with large sections of the Dierlam Family Tree mapped out. I e-mailed one of the guys that owned the site - his mother was a Dierlam.

My mother had a previous marriage in 1977. My mother had a major drinking problem, and the man divorced her in January 1982. Mom married my dad in February 1982, and I was born April 1982. Yes, I found out that William Dierlam is, indeed, my father, and not Lars Lind (mom's first husband). The way it sounds, it's only one generation back of the same stuff we have these days - young, naive, blinded love, get hitched, get sick of the crap, get divorced.

I called Lars Lind - and I might get to meet with him this weekend, since I am already going to Miami, anyways. He knows about the time when my mother was hit by the car in January or February 1982. They both thought (as did my dad) that I was gone. Lars didn't even know that I had made it into the world. I am sure it was quite a shock to get a strange call from me - who he thought was dead. I would be shocked, too.

I also found out that my mother had another child somewhere along the line - probably before me. The daughter's name was Donna - the father got custody, but Sharon and Les Sloane/Sloan/Slone never got married. I don't know what the proper spelling is of the last name. I am going to call some leads tomorrow and see what I can find out. Somehow, I might try to also find Sharon's sister - my aunt - and see what else I can find out.

My uncle has been giving me a run around for years. I have heard names dropped - familiar names that tie into all of this - but for some reason my uncle has been hiding it all from me. I'm 24. I can handle it. It's not like I don't see it all going on around me anyway.

So - after the New Year I will be approaching my uncle again with new evidence that he can not deny - and I will ask once more for his help. If he won't help me, then I will be doing it on my own.

So - I guess, in part, this is part part prayer request/part please encouragement. It's quite a shock to find out this information after so long and being fed lie after lie.

I am going to try to meet with Lars this weekend - and after that - who knows. But the hunt for the truth has started - and maybe that will be my motivation for getting me out of the slump I have been in lately.

Sorry for being long-winded. I tried to make it short - honest.

[~Z~]

This will be much shorter than my original post. The initial shock wore off, and I found out that with the timelines we were talking about, Lars Lind might be my biological father. There is no telling at this point. Good guy, honest, straightforward.

We'll just have to see. Lars Lind and my mother did try to work things out over time, but never could quite work it out. She drank too much.

And I am so much more like my mother than I ever thought I could be. Except I am a klutz, while she played on billiards leagues and helped build private boats.

[~Z~]

Small update -

I got my part of the paternity test today. Did it, stuck it in the envelope, it will be pickedup and sent back to Oregon tomorrow. Lars will do his part on Tuesday or Wednesday.

It's getting scary again. If he is my dad - then that opens a lot of new doors for the both of us. He will be kinda pissed at first, because no one told him anything - and it's taken 25 years to even consider the possibility. He's pretty much already lived most of his life - and that will be a lot to have missed out on.

If he's not - then it's a new friend for the both of us.
I'll know the results in about 2 weeks or so. Giving time for Larss part to get there - and for them to do the test, obviously.